Food jokes
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?
"Wrap it up!"
What's a rapper's favorite DESSERT?
Rhyme-berry pie.
Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?
Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!