Food jokes
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!
I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
What snack do aliens like?
Mars Bars.
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!