Food jokes
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
What do Indian hip hop artists eat?
Rice rice baby.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Noob butter eater.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
Why did the chicken go to the restaurant?
To eat chicken!
Why do I have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy?
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.