Food jokes

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?

How do you kill a sheep?

You lamb shank it!

Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

What’s black and long?

The Chick-fil-A line.

What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?

The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.

Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?

A: A jolly rancher.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

What do frogs eat?

French fries!

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Pillsbury was a fruit.

A sandwich walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

What do you call a gay drive-by?

A fruit roll-up.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

The secrets of life.

Mac & Cheese.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.