Food jokes
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
What type of flour do orphans use?
- Self-raising.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
Jomama so dumb, she brung a spoon to the Super Bowl.
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!
Where do smart hotdogs end up?
On the honor roll!
Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.