Food jokes
Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.