Food jokes
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
A chicken is delicious.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
Pineapple turnover.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
I don’t call it special ED, I call it mixed vegetables.