Food jokes
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To become the spicy chicken burger at Chic-fil-A.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?
Cauliflower.
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
New Orleans cuisine has always been my favorite; however, I only eat gumbo on oc-cajun.
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.