Food jokes
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sneaks candy in her fat rolls.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your cock into a girl's mouth.
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
Memes
The ham is in fact processed
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! XD
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!