Shrimp Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Man

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

Baiter

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

Dad

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰

Memes

Posture

Shrimp posture

The image shows a person with an exaggeratedly curved spine playing an electric guitar. The text above the image reads "Me: why is my back always hurting?" and "Me all day:".

Blowjob

Who discovered shrimp were edible?

Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.

Octopus

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.

Lobster

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

Shark attack

Wanna play shark attack? I eat, you scream!

Oyster

Why don't oysters share their pearls?

Because they're shellfish!

Seashell

Why do mermaids wear seashells?

They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.

Memes

Cat

A close-up photo of a cooked shrimp. The text overlay says: "Repost if you like shrimp. Or want to rail a cat for 12 hours straight."

Spongebob squarepants

A yellow, porous, rectangular cartoon character, resembling Spongebob Squarepants, is depicted with a surprised or shocked expression, mouth wide open, and eyes closed, appearing to lie down. Above the character, white text reads: "dam splotch cob got da hair ike fart shrimp sun".

Memes

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Fire

A shrimp on fire is dunking a basketball, while sharks are looming in the water below. The image contains the text "Krill yourself."

Carrot

TRY MAI DERICOUS FRY RICE

A bowl of shrimp fried rice is displayed on a wooden surface. The text "TRY MAI DERICOUS FRY RICE" is overlaid on the image.

Dish

A picture shows a plate of Cajun shrimp boulettes next to a picture of Andrew Tate. Red circles highlight "boulettes" and Tate.

Kitchen

an average day in the dandy's world kitchen :D

A low-resolution drawing featuring characters from the Roblox game Dandy's World. Shrimpo, a red character with green spikes, is depicted aggressively wielding a red stand mixer. To the right, another toon character with brown coloring and wide eyes looks on with a panicked expression. A watermark for Lemon8 and the handle @tikher1 is visible in the bottom left.