Food jokes
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?
Panera Shed.
Why do orphans hate cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
Memes
When ur watching the two fat girls fighting over the last donut
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!