Food jokes
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Am I a guard or a guava?
Memes
When you reverse the roles be like:
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?
Panera Shed.
Why do orphans hate cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.