What snack do aliens like?
Mars Bars.
Food Jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
What's Mussolini's favorite food?
Fussolini!
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!
Chimichanga.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
