Food jokes
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.