Food jokes
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.
My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
I like peanut butter and honey.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?