Food jokes

What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

What do you call expired milk?

The Milky Way.

Knock, knock.

Moon, give me cheese.

What is the healthiest fruit?

An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!

My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.

How do you make an elephant float?

One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!

What did the sushi say to the bee?

"Wasuuubi!"

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?

Beef strokin' off.

I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.

I like peanut butter and honey.

A chicken walks into a bar.

He orders Dr. Pepper.

He then lays a good scrambled egg.

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.

Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?

What country did Indians invent?

Curry-a.

Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.

When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."

When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."