My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
What is a cow's favorite party game? Moo-sical chairs!
What does a cow watch
Moootube
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
What do u call a united cow? United Steaks
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike. The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it)
Why did the cow wiggle? To make milkshake 😂😂😂😂😂😂
A cowboy rides into a ranch on Sunday stays three days and leaves on Friday how is this possible
What happens when a Cow Farm gets destroyed, then built up again? It'll be udder renovation!
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle? Beef strokin' off
There are three men walking down the road and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm there is a cow a monkey and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money and the farm is going out of business. One of the men's sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest but it's so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them in suggested that they put a cork up the cows behind. The first guy says okay then go put a cork there. I don't want to do it you do it no you do it. The third guy says let's just get the monkey to do it. And the monkey puts the cork in the couch behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm. The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of cow. Guys we need to take the cork out of the cow he says. Well I'm not going to do it you do it, no you do it. The third guy says let's just get the monkey to do it again. So the monkey uncorks a cow. And there was a huge explosion.... a few days later the three men wake up in the hospital. The doctor walks up to the first man what happened he asks the first man replies all I remember is that a horrible sound. The doctor walks up to the second man and asks what happened. All I remember is that horrible smell.... The doctor walks up to the third man and again ask the same question. The third man looks at him and says all I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in.
