My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
Cattle Jokes
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
What does a cow say? Moo.
What did the cow say?
Moo!
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
The Milky Way!
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
Why did the cow wiggle?
To make milkshake! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
