Food jokes
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What is the best thing about being an orphan?
All bags of chips are family-sized!
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."