Food jokes
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
Memes
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
What is the best thing about being an orphan?
All bags of chips are family-sized!
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.
A pa_pıe_rus.
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!