Food jokes
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
Potatoes
In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.
The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.
The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.
In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."
What's up with airline food?
Do you think Mars prefers Sour Orbiters sweet?
Orbiter: "Or bitter?"
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp