Food jokes
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
One time I ate a chair.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.