Food jokes
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
detos
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.