Food jokes
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
Thats a sussy Strawberry
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.