Noodle jokes
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?
A: Chicken noodle suwoop.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.