Noodle jokes
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Q: What do bloods eat when they get sick?
A: Chicken noodle suwoop.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?