Food jokes
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
i keep asking explain bear to make me welcome since im new but why dont you
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.