Food jokes
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Memes
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Mustard
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?
"Tom and Jerry!"