Food jokes
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Potatoes
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Memes
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
Mustard
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."