Food jokes
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why is there A/C in hospitals?
So the vegetables stay nice and fresh.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.