How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
would you like some wine with those french cries?
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
