What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I’m like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I’m like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me...
what type of meat do priests eat on good friday? Nun
Curry.
I like my vegetables like I like my women Forgotten at the bottom of my freezer
😫 😂 😑 🤔 😳 😬 😑 🙄
🥴 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺
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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Sorry. We don't serve food here"
I went to McDonalds and I saw a line of fat people because there were selling free Hamburgers.
You so far you tried to eat the word edible
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut? People wants donuts
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
What is the definition of African-American Vienna sausages? 😋 😋 😋 😋 😋 😋 😋 😋 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 💘 cocks of African-American men 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭🌭 🌭 🌭
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
A burgur walks into a bar and says: "Hi sir can I have a glass of water?" And the waiter says: "I'm sorry sir we don't serve food here,"
If chickens make chicken nuggies does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?!
CONSPIRACY!!!
When I'm bored, I go into an elevator with a full duffle bag. Once people come in and the door closes, I zip open the bag a little bit and whisper to it, "I'll get you some food once we get off."
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
