I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
Food Jokes
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
Depression jokes are like food... not every people get it.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."
Why can't an Asian play baseball?
'Cause they always eat the bat!
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
