Food jokes
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?
Candy is something everybody wants.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
You're built like a double cheeseburger.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!