Food jokes
I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
What's green, red, and spins at 4000rpm?
A frog in a blender.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?
Candy is something everybody wants.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
You're built like a double cheeseburger.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!