Food jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she used a fork to save the milk from the cereal.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
The secrets of life.
Mac & Cheese.
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll-up.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
Butter believe it.
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
What's the difference between babies and onions?
You don't cry cutting up babies.