Food

Food jokes

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Why were 9/11 victims so mad?

They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?

"STUPID VINIGGER!"