Food jokes
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.
What is the best part of being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family sized.
Why are butts salty?
Because there buttered!
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!
Why can't orphans bake?
They don't have milk.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?
A mind-blowing bean burrito.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.