Food jokes
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
Am I a guard or a guava?
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
What did the lettuce say when she is popping the champagne?
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
I got more followers than Charli, because I brought a bottle of filtered water and food through Africa.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
Why do orphans eat dry cereal for breakfast?
They're still waiting for their dad to come back with the milk.
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.