Food jokes
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
Mama milky?
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?
The salad could be dressing!
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What do apples and orphans have in common?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.