Food jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because they’re used to having nuts in their mouth.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk! 😂🤣
What's Japan's favorite hot sauce?
Da Bomb.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Why was the Pakistani bomber angry? Since he got a pepperoni instead of a plain [pizza].