Food jokes
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What do apples and orphans have in common?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
Why are bears' hair so sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
Why were the people in 911 devastated?
They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
Am I a guard or a guava?