Ketchup

Ketchup Jokes

Tomato

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

Potato

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

Tomato

🧀: C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀: You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

Relish

To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.

Relish

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

Tomato

What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Tomato

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂

Mermaid

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

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  • Tomato

    (There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)

    Baby: Wait for me!

    (Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)

    (He squishes the child.)

    Father: Ketchup!

    Tomato

    Why did the tomato cross the road?

    To ketchup with his friends on the other side.

    Hotdog

    Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?

    "Ketchup!"

    Yo mama

    Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

    Race

    The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"

    Word

    What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?

    This isn't ketchup.

    Dog

    My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...