Ketchup Jokes

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

if tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie

What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

🧀: C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀: You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

To master puns you got to relish them first that's how I musterd it who knows maybe you will ketchup to my level

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

What did the tomato say to the empty Ketchup bottle "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME"

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂

What did the squash say to the tomato?

Ketchup!

I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"