Ketchup jokes
Why are tomatoes 馃崊 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can鈥檛 ketchup.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
What do french fries 馃崯 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
馃: C鈥檓on tomato!
馃崊: I鈥檓 trying to ketchup.
馃: You鈥檙e a mile away.
馃崊: I am a tomato! It鈥檚 not that easy for me to ketchup.
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To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Knock knock.
Who鈥檚 there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 馃崊馃槀
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What do tomatoes 馃崊 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.
The fries were the slowest in the race and they said, "We need to ketchup to the tomato!"
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...