The 50+ Best Ketchup Jokes

Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?

Because they can’t ketchup.

People are like potatoes.

We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.

if tomatoes are fruit does that mean ketchup is a smoothie

What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

🧀:C’mon tomato!

🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.

🧀:You’re a mile away.

🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.

To master puns you got to relish them first that's how I musterd it who knows maybe you will ketchup to my level

I’d like to relish the fact that you’ve mustard up the courage to ketchup to my level

What did the tomato say to the empty Ketchup bottle "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME"

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂

What did the squash say to the tomato?

Ketchup!

I don’t put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Other jokes:

1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.

2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?

3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.

4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!

5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.

8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.