Fat jokes

Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

What does a chicken give you?

Student: Meat.

What does a pig give you?

Student: Bacon.

What does a fat cow give you?

Student: Homework.

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?

Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!

Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"

Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.

Yo mama's so fat, she invented double doors!

You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.