Fat jokes
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.
Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
Fat kids are so fat, they have their own gravitational pull.
Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.