Fat jokes

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?

Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.

What do you call a person with a fat brain?

A fat neek!

Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.

There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"

There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"

Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?

Canned hunting.

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!

Lilly's hairline was so fat that Charlene could not find it on Roblox.

Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.

Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!

Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.

What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.

Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!

If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.