Family jokes
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
What superhero will orphans never understand?
Homelander.
Memes
Ohhhh he said a bad word I'm tellin
What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?
I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? 'Cause they can’t find home plate.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”