Why do orphans not buy a keyboard? Because they can’t use the home button.
Family Jokes
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What type of pictures do orphans take?
Selfies.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it always comes back.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
I am an orphan...
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
