Family jokes
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
lol
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.
Yo mama's cheeks are red, I don't know why.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Why was an orphan loving school?
Because the people actually came back.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Ur adopted.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Why can’t an orphan go on the field trip?
Answer: They don’t have a parent’s signature.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.