Family

Family jokes

Grade

When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

Orphan

Why can't the orphan run past third base?

'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.

Orphan

Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.

Orphanage

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

Orphan

What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?

Criminals are wanted.

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.

Orphan

What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?

Neither can be found.

Adoption

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

Stroll

Baby: Stroll?

Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

Baby: *happily screams*

Stroller: *front wheels break off*

Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

Baby: Oka- CRASH!

Orphan

What company do orphans hate the most?

S. C. Johnson, a family company.

Regret

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.