Family jokes

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

What do you call a picture of an orphan?

A family photo.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t have a home to run to.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.

Why do orphans hate dodgeball?

No one misses them.

Why are orphans so bad at dodge ball?

They don't have a home to run to.

How did the blind boy's parents punish him?

Rearrange the furniture.

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.

Heh, stupid orphan.