Family jokes

What food has an orphan made?

Homemade food.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?

A: Monoxide Child.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?

Vin Diesel has family.

How did a man know his wife died?

Dishis start piling up.

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.

Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.

POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.

Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.