Family jokes
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
He's got no home to run to.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back.
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
Where do orphans shop?
Home Bargains.
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.