Family jokes

Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked!

Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?

Because they can't reach home.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't go home.

Orphans have it lucky.

When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because the dad never came with the milk.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?

RoboCop.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?

They both can’t be found.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?