Family jokes
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
What’s an orphan’s favorite phone? An iPhone 14 'cause it doesn’t have a home button.
I called an orphan Spiderman because he's "no way home."
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
- Home Alone
Memes
Where do orphans shop?
Home Bargains.
Why do orphans hate cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent signature________________
What is wrong with the orphan website? It doesn't have a homepage.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "father."
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
Kylin fucks his sister.
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.