Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?
Because they can't reach home.
Family Jokes
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Why was an orphan loving school?
Because the people actually came back.
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
