Family jokes

Why do orphans rob banks?

Because they want to be wanted.

Why are orphans good at dodge ball?

Because no one misses them.

Me: You have terrible jokes.

Mum: Shows me a mirror.

Why do orphans like to play tennis?

Because that’s the only love they will get.

What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?

Self-raising...

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they have no home to go to.

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

It doesn't know where home is.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find their home.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Kid: Which were me, are your parents?

Orphan: What are parents?

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

What superhero will orphans never understand?

Homelander.

What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?

I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!