My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
