Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
My fucking life, cya.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."