End Jokes

chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To end his pain and suffering.

Anonymous

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.

0
Beik
in Depression

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end

Anonymous

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter? – An envelope.

Anonymous
in Death

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with “Don’t worry, it will all end soon”

Anonymous

Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

0
joey drew
in Puns

People are making end of the world jokes, like there’s no tomorrow.

Anonymous

Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don’t have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan : he tells his friend “We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks but then when the bill comes you get down and suck on the hot-dog and it’ll look like you’re sucking on my dick so then we’ll get thrown out without paying and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again”. His friend agrees so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude’s pants, go to the bar and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, “Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!” The first guy says “Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!”

9
Mark
in Bar

A drunk walks into and says, “All lawyers are a$$holes!” A guy at the other end of the bar says, “I resent that!” The drunk says, “Why, are you a lawyer?” and the other guy says, “No, I’m an a$$hole!”

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope

Anonymous

What’s the difference between princess Dianna and Thomas the tank engine Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel

Anonymous
in Animal

Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.

Taxes

Never attempt to foreshadow your own death you may end up regretting it, you can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if i’m wrong.

sno
in Puns

Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?

A: The honor roll

Anonymous

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life

EnderGardian28
in School

The teacher of the ELA class sead that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next ot the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he sead, Me im going home. Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and sead,“At the end of this ruler is a idiot”, he got suspended for asking witch end.

Sarai Castle

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”

If you guessed “Marriage” your stupid. It’s miscarriage and don’t forget it. The joke never get’s old to him. Just like the baby.

Anonymous

Stephen hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery

ANoNyMoUs
in Bomb

what makes a nuke and divorce the same?

it only takes one of each to end your life.

I can tell a joke :`)

Twinkle Twinkle there’s a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end