End jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To end his pain and suffering.

Roses are red,

Lilies are white,

One race ends up dead

And the other ends up bright.

The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.

What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver!

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation? A period. Why? Because it marks the end of a sentence.

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.

"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."

Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

I had sex, but ended up going "uuyaahh!"

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?

Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!

Pro lifers: End abortion!!!

Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class? Catch you later!

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.