100+ Act Jokes

What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?

Cutting-edge Technology.

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.

Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.

Me:

A young boy in a blue martial arts outfit is doing a high kick against a tree. The text on the image reads "Friend: here comes your crush, act natural. Me:"

What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?

A self-fie.

"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?

Answer: disappearing acts.

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."