Act

Act Jokes

Feminist

What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.

  • 0
  • 1
  • Suicide

    If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

    If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

    It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

    Xbox

    My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.

    Feminist

    Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.

    Orphan

    What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?

    A self-fie.

    Privilege

    "I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."

    Punishment

    I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

    Mum

    Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.

    Depression

    I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

    I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

    End

    I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

    Woman

    Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

    Gender

    A girl said to me yesterday, "I don't know why men act like they are better than women, we all know women are supreme." I was confused, so I asked her how, and she told me, "Well, us women have a pussy, ass, and tits, while guys only have a penis. Women have 3 things while guys only have 1. Women are obviously supreme over men." I told her, "Actually, guys have more than women." "How so?" "Men have rights."

    Male

    Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.

    Difference

    What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

    The look on their face when you're nailing them.

  • 8
  • Comedian

    Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:

    Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."

    Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"

    Comedian: "I'm not tr-"

    Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"

    Comedian: "I-"

    Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"

    Straight guy

    Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.