My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Guy 2 whispering : oh i got tired of acting gay
Guy 1: i heard you, why are you acting gay ?
Guy 2: to attract gays and then give them an advice
Guy 1: so what’s your advice to me ?
Guy 2: that i just know you’re gay
Paddys beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 yrs they have been married . The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex and a cool breeze may help . Being a bit of a cheapo , he decides not to buy a fan , but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act . After half an hour, still no sign of success so his mate suggests swapping places . ’ I’ll have a try Paddy , you waft the towel ' Paddy agrees , and after two or three minutes Paddys wife has a moment of sexual pleasure screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years . Paddy taps his mate Mick on teh shoulder and says ‘And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel’ !
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place "Now sashimi now you don’t"
To start im a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa so I went over to him. “You can’t pull that off” I said. He said “then you try it”. He gave me the Santa suit and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
why do i call my dog a vibrator?beacause every time my dog acts like a dildo,i beat him, and when i beat him,he shakes.what do you call a shaking dildo?A vibrator,therefore i call my dog a vibrator.
why couldnt the clown walk after his infamous knife-juggling act because he was exhausted nigaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was," Act like your hard but your dad beat you harder."