Goal jokes
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You鈥檝e got to get more than one down.
LewenGOALski
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?
Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.
My hopes and dreams.
Why can鈥檛 an orphan play soccer?
If he can鈥檛 find home, he can鈥檛 find goal.
Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?
Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!
Touch Down.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 馃槺馃槺 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 馃槼馃槼
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 馃槨馃が - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 馃サ馃ぇ - Finished 馃樄馃 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 馃ザ