Goal jokes

Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡

Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.

We all yelled "Rocket league!"

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!

- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!

Better than Elanga?

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

Why are Indians so good at football?

Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

LewenGOALski

What are Russia's favorite netball positions?

Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side.

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

Touch Down.

There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.

Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?

She keeps on running from the ball.