Eating

Eating jokes

Dinner

  • Son: What's for dinner tonight?

    Mom: Steak!

    Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

    Mom: HUNGER!

    Man

  • Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.

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  • Poem

  • I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

    'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

    Like I said, it's really bad. :(

  • 6
  • Coffin

  • What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

    Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂

    Banana

  • One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.

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  • Teacher

  • In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"

    In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"

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  • Pussy

  • A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.

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  • Hot Dog

  • One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

    "What part of the dog did you get?"

  • 6
  • Diss track

  • It was 2017, and lots of people were hating RiceGum because he released "Frick Da Police," a diss track insulting Idubbbz's Content Cop video on RiceGum.

    A few hours after the diss track was released, someone went to Rice's house and spray painted "Asian Jake Paul" on the wall of the front of his house.

    Rice went to "meet" Idubbbz, then he saw the graffiti.

    "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"

    Hours later, police found 4 suspects.

    "Explain."

    Sus 1: I don't vandalize.

    Sus 2: I was staying indoors because it was rainy.

    Sus 3: I fucking hate RiceGum, but I would not ruin his cheap ass house lol.

    Sus 4: I eat bricks.

    Police: I know who.

    RiceGum: Who?

    Police: ITS-

    807907070707007607865909685780970695067586708650968095768076895708769875660980765970659062870907965607867856067586908

    Notice anything in the number crowd?

    Comment the answer below and I will see who is correct.

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  • Teacher

  • Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?

    Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.

    Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.

    5 minutes later

    Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?

    Teacher, the one sucking it?

    Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.

  • 0