Cabbage jokes
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
Your mum eats cabbage.
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Q: What is the hardest part to eat on a cabbage?
A: The wheelchair.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.