Eating jokes
A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Why is this true?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
Chuck Norris doesn't need protein bars. He just eats his own shit.
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.