Eating jokes
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
Chuck Norris doesn't need protein bars. He just eats his own shit.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.