Eating jokes
Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.