Eating jokes
One day I was walking next to a home less man and he was eating grass I asked him if he was hungry he said yes I said follow me you should of seen his face when I showed him my back yard šššš
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
Where does Michael Joseph Jackson like to eat at?
A Del-he-he.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they donāt like fast food.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?
A: He thought they tasted funny.
Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?
After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Shouldāve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! Heās the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, itās not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and weāre going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesnāt see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didnāt just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and heās your stepdad now.
Caillou: Why Iām bald, Trumpy?
Trump: I donāt know, but what I do know is that youāre a massive shit stain.