Eating

Eating jokes

Homeless

One day I was walking next to a home less man and he was eating grass I asked him if he was hungry he said yes I said follow me you should of seen his face when I showed him my back yard šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

Canada

Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.

Michael Jackson

What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?

He-he-eat!

Michael Jackson

Where does Michael Joseph Jackson like to eat at?

A Del-he-he.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.

They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?

A: He thought they tasted funny.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.

Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?

Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.