What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
Your mum eats cabbage.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
My three favorite things are eating my family, and not using commas.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Nah, they eat emo meals.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
