Back
Eating

Eating jokes

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

  • 7
  • 1

    • What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?

    Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.

    They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

    This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

    Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

    Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

    Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

    Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

    I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

    When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.

    My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.

    What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?

    Open wide, here comes the plane!

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To eat Bob's arms.

    Bob went to hospital and had no arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Bob.

    Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

    His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

    Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

    Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

    This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.