I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
What disease do you get from eating fish?
Salmonella!
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? cus they always eat the bat
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
Wolf looks like a fox It has the sharpest claws It has a bushy tail To eat it doesn't fail It has a coat of red My grandmother has said It hunts for search of food It is never never good
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
10 years ago my dad said i should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... i still eat cereal with water sadly
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
