Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
You're so skinny you're a thin stick You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean you became the Pacific Ocean You're so ugly you got stuff for free You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti you thought it was throw up You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth You are so gay you kiss the boy last night
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
if they got fed up with them.
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
What do monkeys eat for dinner? KFC.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Eat this, peppe.
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
why cant the orphan eat doritoes They where all family sized
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
