Beef jokes
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?