Beef

Beef Jokes

Cow

What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!

Steak

"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."

"It's a strip steak, sir."

"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

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  • Jack and Jill

    Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke a little leaf.

    Jack got high and dropped his fly, and Jill said "Where’s The beef?"

    Wheelchair

    I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

    Michael Jackson

    In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.

    Michael Jackson

    In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

    Cow

    What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?

    Beef strokin' off.

    Girl

    This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.