Motivation

Motivation Jokes

Depression

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Reason

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

Depression

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

Suicide

What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

“Hang in there!”

Depression

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

Speech

Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.

Relationship

A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.

A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.

Depression

OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.

ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!

Mexican

A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."

Lightbulb

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?

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  • Suicide

    I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

    Libertarian Party

    The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?

    Because it is politically motivated.

    Depression

    Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"

    Depression: "Lie in bed."

    Myself

    I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.

    Straight guy

    Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

    Quote

    Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...