Diet jokes
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
Why does my mum eat carrots?
One time I ate a chair.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...