What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
Diet Jokes
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Bean.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
Never eat more than you can lift.
What’s the hardest part of a veggie to eat?
The wheelchair.
What’s the hardest part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"