Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you won’t like it as an adult.
I guess Hitler was forced to have vegetables when he was younger.
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Bean.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
