Diet jokes
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.