Diet jokes
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Bean.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
Never eat more than you can lift.
What’s the hardest part of a veggie to eat?
The wheelchair.
What’s the hardest part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!