Death jokes

Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.

Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

A blind guy shot up a town.

I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not! He got nailed before he died.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.

So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.

One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"

How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?

Mufasa.

What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?

A juice box...