Death jokes
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would be a lifetime supply.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.