Death jokes

"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker

What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?

A toaster.

My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...

He fell from a tower.

What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

Your job still sucks!

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

What’s red and very rare?

A baby in a blender.

What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.

I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."

What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

I don't know, I have both!

*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."

Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."

What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"

(Me): "Suicide."

I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.

Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?

Timmy is dead.

You know Sally? She's dead now.

I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console, but the game kept crashing.

My dick is red.

Your pussy's pink.

It's really tight

When you're dead.